Being a leader is one of the most important qualities that any coach looks for in a player. My son is a Division II baseball player who earned a scholarship to join a prestigious program. As a freshman, he was promised a starting position, but as often happens in competitive sports, the team brought in older, more experienced transfers before the spring season. These players came with collegiate experience in the same position my son plays. Naturally, he was disappointed when he found himself pushed down the depth chart.
“You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.” — Babe Ruth
Turning Setbacks into Opportunities
Assigned to the JV team, he faced a tough adjustment. At first, he struggled to take practices seriously and had difficulty building relationships with his new teammates. His coaches, aware of his talent and potential, noticed the change in his demeanor. They believed he had a bright future with the program, but they also saw him joking around at practice and not giving his full effort.
One of his coaches decided to have a candid conversation with him. The coach reminded him of his responsibility to set an example, even on the JV team, and stressed the importance of demonstrating leadership qualities. That conversation became a pivotal moment. It challenged my son to rise above his disappointment and embrace his new role—not just as a player, but as a mentor.
Embracing Leadership
Taking his coach’s advice on being a leader, my son renewed his focus and commitment. He approached practices with intensity, began organizing extra training sessions, and worked on building stronger connections with his teammates. However, his leadership role was informal—the coaches hadn’t officially designated him as a leader—which made it harder for him to gain the respect and attention of his peers.
This lack of response frustrated him at first. He wanted to make an impact, but many of his teammates didn’t immediately follow his lead.
Earning Respect Through Consistency
I gave him a simple piece of advice: stay professional. Leadership isn’t about instant gratification. Respect takes time to earn. I reminded him that consistent actions would set him apart, especially when games began. His performance and attitude would speak louder than words.
I encouraged him to focus on meeting the expectations his coaches had outlined and to trust the process. Leadership isn’t built overnight—it’s earned through steady effort, one action at a time.
Starting a career, whether in sports or elsewhere, is a journey of earning respect and proving leadership. Talent alone isn’t enough to guarantee recognition. Older teammates or colleagues may see you as inexperienced, while peers may hesitate to view you as a leader. But with focus and consistency, your role and their perception of you will naturally evolve. Leadership requires more than doing your job well—it demands setting a higher standard, working relentlessly, and remaining resilient through challenges.
The Importance of Patience
If you aspire to lead, approach your work with purpose and discipline. Respect and authority grow over time through diligence, not frustration. Giving up too soon only forces you to start over with a new team or environment, repeating the same process to prove yourself. Each reset can delay your progress and disrupt the growth you’ve worked hard to achieve.
While skills can be transferred to new opportunities, a fresh start often brings new challenges. A new leader may not see your potential the way your previous one did, leaving you in an even tougher position. How many times can you start over before it hinders your development?
Setbacks Are Steppingstones to Being a Leader
Setbacks, like being underestimated or overlooked, often carry hidden opportunities for growth. They push you to refine your skills, strengthen your mindset, and prepare for greater leadership roles. If you remain patient, work hard, and trust in your potential, opportunities will eventually come.
Success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, consistency, and the influence of strong leadership. Being new isn’t a weakness—it’s a chance to prove your promise. If you were recruited or recognized for your potential, someone already sees value in you. Use that as fuel to stay consistent and build toward the respect and leadership you seek.
Your current actions lay the foundation for your future. Setbacks aren’t the end—they’re the beginning of something greater.
Eight Steps to Being a Leader
If you’re new to informal leadership and struggling to gain your team’s respect, here are actionable steps to help you grow into your role:
- Understand Your Role and Responsibilities – Take time to clearly define your role within the team. Understanding what’s expected of you ensures you can meet those expectations with confidence.
- Communicate with Your Supervisor – If you’re finding it difficult to gain respect or step into a leadership role, speak with your coach or supervisor. They can offer guidance and help you navigate challenges.
- Lead by Example – Actions speak louder than words. Show up early, work hard, and maintain a professional, positive attitude to set the tone for your teammates.
- Build Relationships with Your Team – Respect and trust grow from genuine connections. Get to know your teammates personally, find common ground, and invest in building strong relationships.
- Be Open to Feedback – Leadership requires constant growth. Embrace constructive criticism as an opportunity to improve and refine your approach.
- Stay Humble and Keep Learning – Leadership is a continuous journey. Stay grounded, seek ways to grow, and strive to be better every day.
- Support Your Teammates’ Growth – True leadership is about empowering others. Encourage and support your teammates’ development, helping them reach their full potential.
- Stay Focused and Committed – Don’t let initial setbacks discourage you. Leadership takes time and consistent effort. Stay committed to your goals and keep pushing forward.
Final Thoughts on Being a Leader
Leadership is both a privilege and a responsibility, demanding dedication, patience, and resilience. Early setbacks or a lack of immediate recognition should never undermine your resolve. True success isn’t measured by fleeting validation but by the lasting impact you have on others. By staying aligned with your values, putting in consistent effort, and persevering, respect and leadership will follow naturally. Remember, leadership is a journey—it takes time and cannot be rushed.
Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow, commit to continuous learning, and have faith in your ability to lead. With persistence and determination, you’ll not only achieve personal success but also inspire and empower those around you. Strive to be the best version of yourself as a leader—your future self will be grateful you did.
Click here for a post on how to gain respect as a young professional.